now wey valentine don dey reach, ophilia don come dey greet me well well, if she pass my gate even if i no see her, she go knock for my window before she begin yan “my one and only akpan!, the only carabar man wey don tif my heart”. the thing dey sweet me pass 404 but i no go allow Ophilia do me wetin she do me last year.
i don arrange waka finish for my mind,even take risk, leave my duty post wey be say oga madam come now, she go begin speak big big english, na so me and ophilia dey waka dey go dat madam scholarstica bar for rumuola junction, if you see my dressing, you go know say akpan no dey dull, i knack one black shoes wey oga dash me and my long khaki trouser with my 50 cent polo, as we sidon to chop and flenjor, na im ophilia begin fall my hand, only ophilia chop two turkey, drink four bottle of stout and dey order for pepper soup!.
i put hand inside pocket make i see if i make mistake carry extra money cuz na N1500 i put for pocket as i dey come out! “darling akpan, dis one u no dey chop wen turkey full table?” na wetin Ophilia ask me, e dey me like make i tear her better thunder slap and run but me i dey fear madam scholarstica o, her pikin guy name hammer, hammer na head of agbero for this rumuola park and if i jonse she go call hammer for me, if you see hammer face no be person go tell you to pay madam scholarstica if you dey owe her.
i don tink sotey my mind run comot from where i dey, wen i turn look back my table, ophilia don tell hammer to come follow her flenjor , say e be like say kalo kalo wey i dey play don make me touch small money, i look left and right i no know anybody for the bar wey i fit borrow money from, the thing we dey my mind now na to run, i don dey calculate how i go run for here reach my gate but what if the plan no come work and hammer come catch me, na die be that o!, i begin bone dey follow dem dey chop, next thing i begin cough like person wey pepper enter him throat o, na so i dey shout “water! water!”, before dem go rush bring water i don fall for ground yakata, na so i dey hear “pour am water” , while some dey shout “make we carry go hospital” , one time hammer don put me ontop of him shoulder, pick race like person wey ghost dey pursue, as him reach hospital drop me, i open eye small and tell nurse “abeg gimme water and help me find okada wey go carry me reach house make i rest” na so hammer dey look me but him no fit talk, as nurse call okada for me and i enter, joy full my mind sotey i begin laff, na so hammer come understand say na sharp guy i wan do, but okada man don move already, as i reach my gate, i rush enter my house and lock gate, na from my small security window i take bring out my hand and give hammer the complete money for wetin we chop.
now valentine don reach again, ophilia don begin dey call me sweet sweet names, my people wetin una want make i do?